Newsletter Week 7

SORRELL'S FANTASY FOOTBALL SEASON XIII

WEEK

Newsletter: Week 7

Yes, the newsletter is out a little earlier this week, and it has nothing (well, almost) to do with the fact that I finally won. I'm having company over on Thursday, and need to clean the house.

On a sidenote, Fox's coverage of the baseball playoffs has to be the worst coverage of any sport by any network. Jeanne Zelasko and Kevin Kennedy makes me wish Scooter was in the studio doing the pregame. But at least we have Tim McCarver to tell us that "the reason we call that pitch up and in is because the arms are attached to the shoulder."

The excitement is back for week seven, where we had a classic Monday night see-saw battle between Branden and Beau. Beau had a 23 point lead heading into the game but only had Manning and Harrison to match up with half of Branden's team. By halftime, Branden had cut the lead to 9 points. By the end of the third quarter the lead was down to 4 points. The lead was cut to 2 points before Manning hooked up with Harrison for their record-setting touchdown strike to shoot the lead back up to 10 points. Steven Jackson did his best to make it exciting again, picking up 60 yards in garbage time, but the ball was given to Marshall Faulk when it counted and Branden falls up lame in the rematch of their week 4 shootout. Final score: 75-69.

Beau was all set for high score until Edgerrin James plunged in a gimme touchdown with the game already in the books on Monday night. Bruce was trailing Dave heading into Monday, but with James, Holt, and Clark (okay, so he doesn't count) against Bulger, there really wasn't much question who would win. And when Bulger went down in the 2nd quarter while trying to play defense, the rest was history. 79-63.

And then there was the rematch between Chris and Randy. Yeah.

~Chris has scored 60 points in consecutive weeks against the same opponent. Not that interesting, but I need to make this column longer.

~Randy barely avoided having two weeks in a row without a player in double-digits. Adam Vinatieri saves him from that feat by posting a ten-spot. Meanwhile, Bruce gets five players in double-digits two weeks in a row.

~Randy had three players with no points this week. In case you were wondering, the last time this happened was also that playoff game by Ken last year. Only he got zero points from David Akers, his kicker.

~Chris had four players score two points or less and he still won. The last time this happened? Just last season. Week 8, Bruce did it against Beau. In fact, Bruce had five guys score three points or less, and he still won 42-38.

~LaDainian Tomlinson threw a touchdown for the second time this season. He now has five career passing attempts with four completions and three touchdowns. He has a perfect career passing rating at 158.3.

~I was unable to find the record for most passing touchdowns by a non-quarterback, but David Meggett threw four in just eight attempts during his career. However, I doubt he was on many fantasy teams since he never had more than 600 yards or four touchdowns in any season.

~And finally...do you remember that Branden had the worst score for each of the first weeks of the season? Well, if Randy could have played the low score the past three weeks, he'd have three ties cuz he'd be playing himself.

I hadn't planned on revisiting this so soon, but there's more on the line here than just wins. In a moment of fatherly pride, Dave and Randy argued that their own sons had gotten the better end of the deal. How did they settle the disagreement? A wager, what else? Another twenty bucks is on the line here. So let's see who got off to the early lead.

Total Fantasy Points Scored
Branden Gets...	Pts	Beau Gets...	Pts
QB Eli Manning	7	QB Peyton Manning	9
RB Priest Holmes	16	RB Brian Westbrook	0
WR Reggie Wayne	8	WR Marvin Harrison	7
WR Hines Ward	0	WR Santana Moss	18
Total	31	Total	34

Hines Ward missed the first game of his career due to his hamstring, while Westbrook had a bye. So far, Randy is in the lead, and he'll need to stay there if he's ever going to recoup his extensive losses on sidebets to Dave so far this season.

Interview:

Steven Jackson, Domanick Davis, Jerry Porter

Sure, they look calm on the outside. But on the inside their hearts are filled with fear, anxiety, and distrust. Their NFL teams are a combined 3-13 so far this season. But that's not the problem. These three guys actually contacted us and asked for an interview. Their worry? Day to day, these three players have no idea whose fantasy football team they'll wind up on next.

SFFL: You three were all drafted by Branden. And you're still on his team. Why are you worried?
Jackson: All of our teammates have left us either by trade of free agency.
SFFL: Mike Vanderjagt is still with you.
Jackson: He's on the Colts. He's untouchable.
SFFL: Manning and Harrison weren't.
Jackson: Yeah, but nobody trades kickers.
SFFL: Still, you've got five touchdowns on the year.
Jackson: And Westbrook had four and he was traded.
SFFL: Okay, so you're all at risk. Why ask for an interview?
Davis: We just wanted to tell Branden to have faith in us. We've seen all of our teammates go. And for what? A 1-5 record? Shit.
SFFL: So why should he keep you two? You haven't exactly scored much for him.
Davis: I'm the featured running back on my team. We're 0-5 now, but it can't stay that way forever.
Jackson: Yeah, you'll be 0-6 after next week.
Davis: Who asked you, punk?
Porter: Hey, we're on the same team here, remember? As for me, with Randy Moss gone for a while, Collins will have no one to throw to but me.
SFFL: And you'll be double-covered. You realize that, right?
Porter: Hey man, what are you trying to do? Get us traded?
SFFL: Well, would that really be so bad? You might join some of your old teammates. And you'd have a better chance of getting to the Super Bowl.
Jackson: Dude, I want no part of this. We'll go interview someplace else.
Davis: Yeah, this asshole ain't helping our cause at all.
Porter: Hey, wait. I don't wanna sell-out, but for some money and the glory I deserve, it could be worth it. I just gots to aks Branden for one thing.
SFFL: Yeah, what's that?
Porter: Please don't put me on Randy's team!

This Week

Branden (1-5) vs. Bruce (4-0-2)
Dave (3-2-1) vs. Chris (4-1-1)
Randy (2-4) vs. Beau (2-4)

Bruce remains undefeated and things don't get any harder this week as he goes up against Branden who is stuck firmly in the cellar. Though, not a must win, Branden needs a victory otherwise several more dollars will likely be in the kitty come Tuesday.

This is the last time Dave faces Chris this season. If Chris wins he locks up the tiebreaker. For Dave to secure the tiebreaker he must beat Chris by nine points or more. If he does so he'll also take over second place.

Beau has another crucial matchup this week against Randy. Just like last week he must win to avoid losing a tiebreaker to a close rival. The winner of this matchup will be alone in fourth place, the last playoff spot.

BYES: Carolina, Jacksonville, New England, Tampa Bay

Key Players Out
Beau	None
Branden	Joey Galloway
Chris	Jimmie Smith, Corey Dillon
Randy	Adam Vinatieri
Bruce	Michael Clayton
Dave	Deion Branch

Nobody is devastated this week because of the bye. Branden has two other solid receivers who are guaranteed to play, plus Hines Ward.

Chris may be hurt by Dillon's absence, as Tiki Barber hasn't been the go-to-guy this year for the Giants. But Chris Brown is playing the Cardinals, so it's the perfect week for Dillon to be gone. And he should be fine without Jimmie Smith. If Brandon Stokely scores at all this year it should be against the Texans.

Randy can easily get a solid one week replacement for Vinny. Unfortunately, he can't do that for his other seven guys.

Michael Clayton isn't really a key player for Bruce, but when your other options are Dallas Clark and Lee Evans, I guess it sort of matters. Not that Bruce has needed a third receiver anyway.

And Dave has Anquan Boldin and all them Cowboys, so he should be fine without Branch, who hasn't scored much for him anyway.